NOT HELPING

It's official that this blog is NOT helping to curb baby-fever. If anything, it's helping me get TOO organized!! I compare the birth centers at my area's hospitals, I know the ins and outs of Baby's first hours, I know all the medications/shots/exams given to babies delivered at hospitals, I've watching so many birthing videos (seriously watch this, it's the CUTEST water birth video ever) that a stretched vag/poophole don't even phase me OR The Ginger anymore, and, as you can see from this picture, I fucking stay up late playing with dolls, PRACTICING BREASTFEEDING. I NEED AN INTERVENTION. I look up breastfeeding techniques, how to be thrifty with a baby, I have a pinterest board dedicated to "Future Kid", and LITERALLY CANNOT SLEEP because of racing thoughts/questions/fantasies about Baby. Not even fun or interesting fantasies, gross ones like changing diapers, leaking milk everywhere, chapped nipples. all the gross stuff! I feel SO prepared that all other factors (don't have a job, about to start an intense weight loss program, moving back in with my parents, massive piles of debt, mental illness, want to go back to school) seem manageable and like not real issues. Not really sure what I can do to STOP feeling this way???? Any tips, dear readers???? HALPPPPPPP

I know I said I'd write about Attachment Parenting, and I'll try next time. It's so terrible I need to rant about it but am just not up to it tonight!