things to do while you wish you were due

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

NOT HELPING

11:53 PM Posted by Sophie No comments
It's official that this blog is NOT helping to curb baby-fever. If anything, it's helping me get TOO organized!! I compare the birth centers at my area's hospitals, I know the ins and outs of Baby's first hours, I know all the medications/shots/exams given to babies delivered at hospitals, I've watching so many birthing videos (seriously watch this, it's the CUTEST water birth video ever) that a stretched vag/poophole don't even phase me OR The Ginger anymore, and, as you can see from this picture, I fucking stay up late playing with dolls, PRACTICING BREASTFEEDING. I NEED AN INTERVENTION. I look up breastfeeding techniques, how to be thrifty with a baby, I have a pinterest board dedicated to "Future Kid", and LITERALLY CANNOT SLEEP because of racing thoughts/questions/fantasies about Baby. Not even fun or interesting fantasies, gross ones like changing diapers, leaking milk everywhere, chapped nipples. all the gross stuff! I feel SO prepared that all other factors (don't have a job, about to start an intense weight loss program, moving back in with my parents, massive piles of debt, mental illness, want to go back to school) seem manageable and like not real issues. Not really sure what I can do to STOP feeling this way???? Any tips, dear readers???? HALPPPPPPP

I know I said I'd write about Attachment Parenting, and I'll try next time. It's so terrible I need to rant about it but am just not up to it tonight!

Parent Fear Mongering and Natural Things

12:43 AM Posted by Sophie No comments
ATTENTION: YOU ARE KILLING YOUR BABY YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PARENT AND SO IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't tell you how many things I've seen that say basically this exact thing when it comes to parenting. People are NUTS about their kids. And it's something that's fairly accepted in US culture. Take the example to the left. "HIDDEN DANGERS". It then goes on to detail every single terrible thing you're exposing your child to. It then goes on to tell you what you SHOULD be using. Like paint made from milk (???????????????????) and other shit no one can afford. Did you know that bananas are radioactive? SO DON'T FEED THEM TO BABIES. Except people, and generally babies, love bananas (but not me, I'm totally allergic to them). And guess what? They're really NOT going to hurt you. Trace amounts of toxic things can be found in almost everything we use these days and it's not gonna kill your baby. I walk a fine line between thinking all this is over-sensitive hippie crap, and wanting to go back to basics and provide a natural space for Baby. I think all the shit to the left is ridiculous. Should you air out a nursery after you paint? Yeah duh. Be mindful of recalls if you can, but a lot of people get hand-me-downs or second hand things and honestly can't worry about this shit. Of all the terrible things you could be exposing your kids to, I'm not gonna sweat over getting organic paint and mattresses. I'm not cooking meth in my house for fuck's sake.
There are some things that I'm pretty passionate about doing naturally. Possibly naively, but natural childbirthing is really something I want to do. Med-free and preferably in water! Pain sucks really bad and I'm worried that when my vag and butthole are being ripped open I'll realize what a stupid idea drug-free was. But I guess I'll cross the pain bridge when I get there. Childbirth is really insane and to think that people with vaginas have been doing this for thousands and thousands of years!! I think being drug free would be like a connection with all those people and really fantastic. Oh man could that sound ANY more hippy-ish????? Sorry guys. Next time I'll talk about the horrifying-ness that is Attachment Parenting and THEN I won't sounds like a hippie butthead.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Pajamas

7:15 PM Posted by Sophie No comments
Traveling Beyond My Bedtime, Target $15
I am a Dreamer, Target $15
If I could stock up on one thing that I love for kids more than ANYTHING, it's PAJAMAS!!!!!! I FREAKING LOVE PAJAMASSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! They're so cute and wonderful and I love them so much. All of the linked PJs are from Target because I always browse their baby stuff whenever I go there. I also threw in my favorite onesies that I want to get next time I have some spare monies (aka never). I really love the recent trend in science/space/alien themed clothes because not only are they fairly gender neutral but they also inspire imagination and hopefully a lifelong interest in science! And don't even get me started on Christmas PJs when they come around. THE cutest things.
Anyways, here are my favorites. Enjoy.
Target, $12


"Over the moon for Mommy" "Off to Grandmas"Cute Astronaut puppy onesies, Target, $9

Resources, Queer Awareness, and Rock Lullabies

4:53 PM Posted by Sophie No comments
Hello again Gentle Readers!

I recently came across a fantastic website for non-traditional families that I think is a great resource. The link is in my list of links to the left and also here. The site is called Off-Beat Families and, while it's no longer posting, it has amazing posts about everything you could possibly think of when thinking of non-traditional families. From personal stories of trans*men breastfeeding, to making art with your baby's placenta, to processing miscarriage/adoption/abortion, it answers or at least discusses a lot of really interesting questions.

One of the articles that really interested me was Queer Parenting for Heteros. It discusses what parents (queer or not) can do to actively cultivate gender-queerness in their children.
 "Allowing children to form their own relationship with gender means not imposing gender on them, and this is very hard to do in a gender binary world where there is no gender-free place that we can find and inhabit. So, one way to deal with this is to actually cultivate children's genderqueerness, which means to make sure that children have as many gendered options available to them as you can possibly provide, with an emphasis on cross-gender possibilities."
I feel like this is soooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOoo important and people so often overlook it when raising children. Our society is completely heteronormative, leaving no room for children to explore their own gender and identity. Even as a preschool teacher I heard myself say things like "This class has too many BOYS in it! They're so rowdy!" Assessing gender to a specific stage in development when really, three year olds are just generally rowdy and the girls in the class were acting the same as the boys. Dictating what toys your child can play with based on if they're blue or pink is so incredibly limiting! If our children were encouraged and introduced to a wide variety of toys and activities, regardless of what society has deemed 'gender appropriate', our children and we as a whole would be so much happier and better off. I hope as a parent it's something I focus on and emphasize to my children.

I recently discovered Rockabye Baby! which are lullaby versions of rock albums. My favorite is The Cure but they have The Beatles, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, etc. Really great way to introduce your babe to music that you love but is maybe a bit too loud for bed-time. I also just upgraded my Pandora to be ad-free and listen to the Relaxation station every night to get myself to sleep so I'm sure it'd be great for a bebe too. Those ads were the actual worst. I'd be almost to sleep and the ADS WOULD ALL OF A SUDDEN START BLARING AND WAKE ME UP REALLY ABRUPTLY. There's also a sleep timer with Pandora now so it's not playing all night. Currently, the Disney station plays constantly at our house. At the preschool I often had Kids Bop on, although sometimes it started playing Eminem???? I kid you not.

Anyways, hope you guys like the new layout and check out the new links to the left, including my pinterest with tons of baby crafts and crap.

Housewife Life

12:19 AM Posted by Sophie No comments
I recently came across some articles about dealing with Baby-Fever that made me go "Hey I do that too!". It helped to not feel quite so crazy. So in case any of my readers are dealing with the same issues, here are the links!

http://offbeatfamilies.com/2011/01/babycrack
http://offbeatfamilies.com/2013/08/waiting-to-have-baby

Nothing is really helping me TOO much. I guess looking at my bank account is kind of an eye-opener but that makes me feel more guilty than anything. "Oh, I should be saving for Baby and look I have $150 in the bank I can't even feed myself". I'm currently unemployed (did I mention I quit my job? I think I did) and I think my Baby-Fever might be a big reason I'm having trouble motivating myself to really look for work. Simply put, I don't want to work. And I know that's probably the case with many people but when I think about my life's ambitions, it really is to be a "homemaker". I want to stay at home with my kids and teach them and play and learn from them every day. I'm going to apply for library school this fall as being a children's librarian is the only other thing I can consider besides that and would be something I would love to continue to do after my children are passed a certain age. I used to desperately want to be a social worker or therapist, which is why I got my bachelor's in psychology, but it's more and more obvious to me that what I really want is to devote my energy and focus to my children. I could see myself in a part-time librarian job as that's something I'm also passionate about and don't want to totally lose a sense of my self when having children but until I can go back to school, I'm totally uninspired job-wise. ((I am incredibly privileged that The Ginger has a job that is getting us by and that my parents are letting us move in with them so we can save money. Just wanted to state that I realize how incredibly lucky I am not to just have to take any job or stay at a soul-sucking job because I need to.))

I wanted to go a little into the feminist implications/debate of my wanted to stay at home with the kids but I'm super tired. And basically, I do what I want, yo. Smash the patriarchy, etc. These are the essential things I need to stay home and teach my kids.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Newborn Photography

8:57 PM Posted by Sophie No comments
simplyrosie.ca
Victoria Ford
Katie Evans
I have to say, I spend a ton of time looking at newborn photography. As a photographer, with a photographer father, obviously the pictures of my baby have to be AMAZING. People have really great ideas online. If you see the kind of photography I/my dad do, newborn stuff is NOT it. It's so soft and beautiful and sweet. HOW could I trust the pictures of my baby to someone outside my family?! But also, it's not our specialty and so how COULD I trust it to us when it's not what we do?
jamadophotography.com
Amy Boring
Anyways, look at all these amazing pictures. They're SO FREAKING CUTE. There are a lot of really cliche, gimicky pictures of babies that I realllllyy hate. Babies are almost always cute, don't get me wrong. But c'mon, this isn't Anne Geddes. Your baby doesn't need cowboy boots on. That just looks silly. Simple backdrops and props always look the best. A plain heart garland wrapped around the hospital cart is so much more beautiful than a crazy outfit or a football. In my opinion.Your baby can't fish, or play football, or do ballet. Your baby is gorgeous in some natural light with none of those silly extras.
And THAT is what I have to say about THAT. Enjoy some of my favorite baby pics that I've found!

Montessori and C-Sections

6:15 PM Posted by Sophie 1 comment
Hello Friends. Its been awhile! I've quit my job so no longer have constant interactions with children, leaving me feeling pretty bummed. I've been pretty obsessively looking up everything baby. I generally try and avoid parenting 'styles' as they seem super yuppy-ish generally. But I've gotten very interested in the Montessori
way of raising children. I came across this picture (left) from How We Montessori and it really intrigued me. Why is that baby on a bed??? Why is there no crib?! The Montessori way of thought is don't do for the child what the child can learn to do for herself. The idea of not having a crib is to foster independence and self confidence. The child doesn't see their surroundings through the bars of a crib, they are present in their environment and as they grow to be more mobile, they are able to explore their environments without the need of the parent to be the one to dictate when and where the child can explore their surroundings. Montessori also has several really interesting different mobiles to aid in development. The Little Red Farm has a great list of all the mobiles and the purpose of them all, as does How We Montessori which is where the below image is from.
I think these are some pretty cool aspects of the Montessori school of thought. Do I plan on following it to the letter? Probably not. Limiting yourself to only following a certain way is just not for me. But I'm really liking the lack of a crib.

Onto the second part of my blog. C-Sections. I watched this trailer after reading a lot about natural childbirth. Nearly one half of plus size women get c-sections. HALF! These statistics have dramatically increased in recent years, not due to more plus size women but due to the doctors wanting a faster, more efficient birthing center. (Source) Did I just source this like a freaking research paper? Sigh. I guess this is my life. Anyways. Natural birth options are not even given to women or doctors try discourage it as much as possible. I'm currently trying to lose a lot of weight, in part to get more ready for having my own baby. I really want it to be natural and if possible, a water birth. I think they seem such a beautiful experience, one that I'd love to share with The Ginger. Also, I'll admit, not quite so up close and personal with my butthole. As in, no one can stare at it because it's under water! And the birthing experience can be much more guided by the mother, something that is deeply important to me. I can have a lot of anxieties. Most people who know me know this. Obsessing about not being able to have a natural birth and not being able to breastfeed and both things I often panic about. They may seem kinda silly things to be worried about. At least you get a baby, right? Well generalized anxiety rarely makes sense. I've got a ways off until they're really things I have to worry about and yet they're still constantly on my mind! I'm not sure if research is making me more informed or making me more panicky? Ah well.

Thanks for turning in again, Dear Readers.
Stay gold!